Posted by Ray | Posted on 5:05 AM


When two forces act in opposing directions, the resulting effect is tension. More relevantly, when 'what is' isn't 'what should be', there is a discrepancy, and as these 'forces' move against each other, voila, tension.

Although I had mentioned about having a more optimistic and lighter post, I can see that it would be inaccurate for me to portray the events taking place in my life and the feelings I have about these events in such a manner. To be honest and bottomline it, I feel crappy.

Time has faded some anger and resentment, but my need to reconcile these emotions and my displeasure at being given the short end of the stick is still at tension. This has a lot to do with a recent 'failure' in a music project.

I feel strongly that music is both objective and subjective, contrary to popular opinion that it is purely subjective. The objective element of it is why I have no qualms about stepping up to anyone's face and point out, "Your music (taste) sucks, and it is true" if my limited knowledge and understanding indicates so (how's that for a tensed situation).

Unfortunately, I am not in the company of many in this aspect of being able to 'sense' and discriminate a fine musical 'wine' from a stale house variety, and thus, it is natural for me to be disappointed when decisions about music is placed in the hands of incapable judges (which there are many).

Simplified? I am disgusted with the musical taste and ignorance of the general masses. Talented musicians, I see them being homeless and playing to no one on the streets. Undeserving, limited and retarded entertainers (looking at you J.Beaver, and you too, Ca$ha) earning millions and millions, solely capitalizing on the vulnerable gullible masses who just can't get enough of trash. What a tension exists due to this discrepancy in justly rewarding and acknowledging the rightfully deserving.

Things do seem to be going well here onwards, have found a job at Sunway Group. Hopefully this is the right step forth. Would hope for breakthrough in musical pursuits as well, for people to really sit up and take notice, because I'm sure the music I'm involved in is far from crap.

Pleases me and unsettles me (another tension) to see many of my friends being blessed in their jobs and lives, affording progressively finer lifestyles. No idea if such a life is for me, but time will tell. I'll wait.