Random Rants and Ramblings ...what it says

I still don't know who the real 'star' is, but hey, food for thought.

Honestly, I have yet to be able to understand what the difference is. But that's not why I decided to take a bit of time out to post, no siree.

There was this man I met when I was at a previous job, a man who nailed a job as a Manager in Maju Holdings, one of the reputable local conglomerates. I recall very vividly his saying that he finds it personally offensive when he hears people comparing Malaysia to Singapore, out of his Bumi pride. There was this bitterness and anger that I could feel beneath his pride, something I believe is common to a number of others who share similar ethnicity as this man when faced with a question like "Dude, why the hell Malaysia so pariah compared to Singapore leh? Your kind can't run Govt like their kind in SG isit?

I've been going through a bit of a turbulent period recently. I'm not penniless, but far from making progress to even save up. I've been drawing Excel charts and whatnots to keep track of finances, but believe me, there is always something that comes up and punches the wind out of my piggy bank's guts.



Pretty naturally, there are things in life that I would love to afford, things that fall in my 'wants' rather than 'needs' (which is a bulging list in itself). The frustration I feel at not being able to cross off items off either lists is overwhelming, and I sense it pouring over at this point; hence this rant.

So that's why I started off with the Malaysia vs Singapore story. The 'elites' of this country are content with their pride, so much so they fail to see that besides masturbating their egos with politics and oppression of the country's minority, we Malaysians have got our feet dipped in shit. Not that drastic that we're in deep shit (I foresee not gonna be long), but in fecal matter nonetheless.

As all my posts have an image to go along with it, here, feast your eyes on this, as this is my main point for this rant:



32 minutes to buy a kg of rice, as compared to 17 minutes in Singapore. 52 hours to buy an iPod Nano as compared to 27.5 in Singapore.

Have your pride pay for the food that fills your fat belly, Mr. Maju-Manager. Thanks to your kind for screwing us all up. Looking at the way your kind runs the country, perhaps it would have been better you had been ruled by immigrants than be declared independent.


*I am by no means an overt racist, although I have my prejudices and biases. I just have this issue with the finger-pointers and ISA-wolf-cryers who actively abuses and lords over the minority of the country.

She asked me what my love language was. I didn't really answer, but I knew what it was. Just a matter of learning how to express it.

Allow me to introduce my song of 2011's Valentine's. Of course I mean no insult to such a beautifully crafted song by associating it with something as commercial (and sinful according to scholars of the Muslim faith) as Valentine's. Perhaps one of the better love songs I've heard in recent times. The original meaning of the song (I believe) references a 'twisted' parting shot at the dissolving of a romantic relationship, but it takes on a slightly different meaning for me. Realizing that despite the fading of passion's embers, love remains and the magnitude of which is still the same and unequaled, regardless of time and consequence, taking on a morbid yet syrupy taste to it.

Happy Valentine's to all, and enjoy.

As I do not have a Twitter, this is the only place appropriate for a short message dedicated to you that everyone else gets to read too.

Your strength and courage is what I find lovely about you. There is this boldness that permeates from the way you carry yourself, that I find lacking in myself, and being around you edifies me in these aspects as well. I can only pray that faced with whatever obstacles, you will always remember that you have the resources within to overcome.

Tough as nails, love.


Okay, perhaps it didn't turn out as short as I thought it would be. Or as masculine.

postscript: this counts as a Valentine's note

Have they really worked out for me? Last year I mentioned the need for carefully thought out resolutions, avoiding overly-specific one that serve little purpose and skim shallow depths of our potential.

The year has been, beyond a shadow of a doubt, incredibly eventful, so much has happened that I can barely remember the events as being just last year (not an excuse for my gradually fading memory box). I can remember the incredible Indonesia trip with friends that are literally for life;


the Convocation where you realize the years of groaning and moaning about exams and assignments are at an end (for most) and that the people you've shared a significant part of your life with are to pace their own path, diverging from the point where all had once stood still at;


to some really life-changing events;


some new beginnings:


growing out of just being an introvert playing with strings in a bedroom;



terrible first working experience (but experience nonetheless);

two concerts in quick succession;



as well as some stuffs I may have forgotten about, I'd say I'm amazed and grateful to be blessed with enough brain cells to even remember these events!

It has been a really eventful year with plenty of bumps and humps (sorry, desperate to make it rhyme here), and I can only hope that I would be blessed enough to carry on with having another great year ahead.

2011, I await.

When two forces act in opposing directions, the resulting effect is tension. More relevantly, when 'what is' isn't 'what should be', there is a discrepancy, and as these 'forces' move against each other, voila, tension.

Although I had mentioned about having a more optimistic and lighter post, I can see that it would be inaccurate for me to portray the events taking place in my life and the feelings I have about these events in such a manner. To be honest and bottomline it, I feel crappy.

Time has faded some anger and resentment, but my need to reconcile these emotions and my displeasure at being given the short end of the stick is still at tension. This has a lot to do with a recent 'failure' in a music project.

I feel strongly that music is both objective and subjective, contrary to popular opinion that it is purely subjective. The objective element of it is why I have no qualms about stepping up to anyone's face and point out, "Your music (taste) sucks, and it is true" if my limited knowledge and understanding indicates so (how's that for a tensed situation).

Unfortunately, I am not in the company of many in this aspect of being able to 'sense' and discriminate a fine musical 'wine' from a stale house variety, and thus, it is natural for me to be disappointed when decisions about music is placed in the hands of incapable judges (which there are many).

Simplified? I am disgusted with the musical taste and ignorance of the general masses. Talented musicians, I see them being homeless and playing to no one on the streets. Undeserving, limited and retarded entertainers (looking at you J.Beaver, and you too, Ca$ha) earning millions and millions, solely capitalizing on the vulnerable gullible masses who just can't get enough of trash. What a tension exists due to this discrepancy in justly rewarding and acknowledging the rightfully deserving.

Things do seem to be going well here onwards, have found a job at Sunway Group. Hopefully this is the right step forth. Would hope for breakthrough in musical pursuits as well, for people to really sit up and take notice, because I'm sure the music I'm involved in is far from crap.

Pleases me and unsettles me (another tension) to see many of my friends being blessed in their jobs and lives, affording progressively finer lifestyles. No idea if such a life is for me, but time will tell. I'll wait.

The unemployment statistic in Malaysia for the month of August is at 362,100 according to Labour Force Survey, Department of Statistics, Malaysia. Not too sure what the number is in October, but hey, +1 to it. Recently quit job as I found out that my EPF is not being paid despite being stated in my pay slip.

The experience has been pretty good, although I'm definitely not on same page as the management, I believe I learned more in my 4 months than most fresh graduates had in their first jobs. Was great to know that my effort and development was noticed as well, although I don't get any tangible rewards for it. Had it been more stable of a company, I'd imagine myself doing pretty well in terms of career progression. I guess it wasn't meant to be, so from the bottom again I go.

Have not been having the best of times, financial worries augmented by having no job. The pressure manifests itself in my daily life, so much so that I'm beginning to feel like something in me has changed. Perhaps its just me thinking too much. But I do feel as though I'm much lesser of what I used to be.

There are perks afforded by being jobless though, I do feel it is time to take a break and start playing music more regularly. I enjoy the extra sleep I've been getting as well, it's been so long since I had a good night's sleep.

There's a new addition to the random sounds I have in my head which I put up in the Sounds that I Hear tab at the side. Perhaps inspired by events in the past few weeks, which I can't sufficiently express through any other means.

Will post a more upbeat update soon, many more positive happenings have took place. Watch for that.